How do you know if your relationship is healthy, unhealthy, or abusive?
In a healthy relationship, you and your partner:
- talk openly
- respect each other's feelings and opinions
- trust each other
- make decisions together as equals
- both feel okay setting boundaries (limits on what you're comfortable with)
- spend time apart
- talk honestly about physical closeness.
- can be yourself and feel loved for who you are.
An unhealthy relationship has some warning signs like poor communication, disrespect, or one partner trying to control the other.
In an abusive relationship, your partner hurts you. This can look like:
- harmful communication
- controlling your money or who you see
- forcing unwanted physical contact
- using threats and tricks to get their way
If your partner controls your money, keeps you away from family and friends, or makes you feel unsafe, these are serious red flags that mean you're in an abusive relationship and should get help.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has more information about how to tell what kind of relationship you are in.
Last Reviewed: June 10, 2025