Talking to someone about abuse is really hard, but it's important to know how to help. Abuse is all about power and control, where one partner has more control over the other. There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and leaving can be the most dangerous time. The best way to help is by having conversations that let the person make their own choices.
You can support someone going through abuse in two main ways:
- Give emotional support by listening without judging their decisions. Try to understand how difficult and scary their situation is. Remember: you can't rescue them - they have to make their own choices. Don't criticize their abusive partner or make them feel bad about staying.
- Offer practical help like keeping important documents safe for them, helping them find housing or food if needed, going with them to appointments for support, or helping them create a safety plan.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has more information about how to help someone in an abusive relationship.
Last Reviewed: June 10, 2025